Maybe this is how things should be on the road towards a silent ending.
Urgh what a struggle to focus on this screaming and deafening reminder from the innermost sense of my brain emphasizing the lines...
“no! don’t you dare deviate from the course this situation is leading now, can’t you see this is the chance to stay on track? And it might be the ONLY CHANCE! So brace up! Don’t sweat this”
...because my frustrated and hurt heart goes wailing at every turn in the very cramped space I allowed it to be weak and vulnerable 😭😭😭.
Like a lunatic I give myself a pat on the shoulder minutes after cry outs for successfully blocking my every urge to reach you so far. But I must say, it is a frustrating path, a painful one. A heartbreaking journey of forceful steps forward being taken one ant step at a time...
It is so weakening to stand up to self enforced principles just because you know that what is happening will eventually lead to the wisdom of the righteous... and I am just crushed to be in the center of the fuckin famous lines that says “being right is not always what makes us happy. 💔”
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