silly cry

now i remember one incident in high school which so totally says "I HATE BEING A LOSER"

one day when we were still juniors, there was an election for student body officers and i ran for the secretary position... i lose by one point... ONE POINT! i wouldn't be that hurt since in ordinary circumstances, it was a pretty good fight, considering that my opponent was a senior student already. but then, it was not an ordinary circumstance, see i stayed during the counting and i looked at the papers as they announce... i saw (recognizing the penmanship of my classmates) that my crush who is also my suitor back then DID NOT VOTE FOR ME! now THAT really hurt! so i went home crying and mom saw me and she laughed. pretty sucks huh. hahaha. she didnt know the whole story, she just knew i lose by one point.

ofcourse i did never forgive him, eventhough he justified that he voted against me because he was also a candidate of the opposing party.. but whatever. i think, boys in highschool cant stand it if the girl they want is soaring higher than they are. such pride for little losers haha.

.... i just remembered this incident while layouting the JS invitation program of INHS...
anyway, this is one example of mishandling myself when i'm at bottom end. it's not a happy place to be. and it did turn me into something different.... now, i believe that avoiding to lose is avoiding any competition. as long as i'm not downgraded, i keep silent, i hide in my comfort zone... to where i am at peace.