in my world

In my world I am my king. I praise myself. I brace myself.

In my world I shine every moment. I laugh everytime. I conquer everything.

In my world there is nothing but happiness.

In that sanctuary… In my world…

i.am.happy.

sometimes... no often times i seem blue because i choose to write that way. i refuse to admit my happiness because it's easier to put in words the gloomy feelings. the ink of my pen, the will of my fingers to type is uprooted from a feeling of unhappiness.

but i am happy. i just dont know how to describe that feeling. i love being loved... cherished being prioritized by someone. thankful that i have him. glad that he's acts the way he is.

loveyou hal ^_^

what joy?

my joy was in the past
a laughing shadow of a twinkling eyes
a careless enjoyment of a light spirit

the present is dull
a routine of shamed pride and insecurities
a cycle of irritation and mistakes

the future is uncertain
like the path of a falling star that brought light and then darkness

what the rain brings

its raining again. the tiny droplets are fast becoming pools of cold water. the plants still fresh from morning dew are now covered with spots of mud.
our building is silent, almost trembling with the unknown possibility of the future. the air is suspiciously calm, almost as rigid as the windows now used to being shut.the lanterns hang in deep sleep as if christmas is not coming any sooner.

and i... i am stuck, stranded in a feeling brought about by this rain. a feeling of shuffled unhappiness, confusion and only mild contentment. the rain does not bring the usual feeling of gladness anymore. it somehow betrayed us, brought the coldness to the innermost feelings of individuals.

i am not happy. i doubt anybody is...